The Most Painful Thing In The World Is To Dash A Parent’s Hopes

Rush, rush, rush. The walls keep us in but we always run.

Sometimes when the wind blows in Autumn it gets the leafs and puts them in the air and we catch them. They are crispy on top of the piles and they are always in the corners of the playground.

We drew the seasons and Mrs Lynn said mine was the best. I drew lots of leafs in the Autumn one and me and Andy catching them. We got let out to play early as well but they made us wear gloves. I don’t like wearing gloves in Autumn because it isn’t that cold unless you’re a girl and you can’t crunch the leafs that well with gloves on.

Sometimes when we throw and catch the leafs that the wind puts up we do it lots until there’s only leafs left at the bottom of the piles that are all wet and in bits. I don’t like it then and we have to play something else.

Andy is my best friend because he likes drawing pictures of strongmen with muscles like you get in cartoons. We both like drawing pictures a lot and Mrs Lynn always says we should pay so much attention to every lesson as to Art and we’d do very well indeed. But me and Andy think that Art is the best lesson because you are usually allowed to draw anything you want and if you do a good picture you can get a sticker and that means you did better than the rest of the class.

Once me and Andy did a picture together and Mrs Lynn said it deserved 10 stickers and we had to go and show the Head Teacher Mrs Fingle who teaches Class 1. Andy didn’t want to speak when we went in the room but I did and I felt like at Christmas when I see Uncle John and he always speaks really loud and calls me Big Lad and I used to be scared and try to hide behind Mum but now I am big and am not scared.

The Head Teacher Mrs Fingle asked Class 1 to be silent and listen please and asked us to say why we were there and hold up the picture. Andy didn’t say anything and my ears felt red but I said that Mrs Lynn said the picture was very good indeed and that I deserved 10 stickers. Mrs Fingle said well done and smiled a lot at Class 1 but then she looked at Andy and said that we did deserve 10 stickers, both of us together and that made me feel funny so me and Andy didn’t say anything to each other until hometime.

After we got let out to play early because we drew the seasons we ran and it went rush, rush, rush in our ears and I said to Andy we were like the wind and that was why we could hear it rush when we ran, but he said the wind was too fast. I said it wasn’t too fast for me I could run as fast as the wind and I picked up some leafs and threw them so the wind would put them across the playground, and then ran and the leafs didn’t go as fast.

But Andy said that’s stupid and ran to the corner where all the Class 3 boys are. I ran too and started getting leaves but he said go away because they were his leafs and pushed the leafs that were in my hands out of my hands, and I said they weren’t his leafs and he was stupid and he said shut up. Then the Class 3 boys that were always in the corner went over to Andy and they liked him because of his brother and one of them started acting like the big boys we saw have a fight next to the war memorial and put his arm around Andy. Andy was looking sad and red and the Class 3 boys said throw some leafs at me and they helped him and they were the leafs at the bottom all wet and bitty and I started feeling like tears were hiding in my eyes and my nose went all wrinkled. So I pushed Andy and all the Class 3 boys got happy and made a circle around us so they could say fight, fight.

Andy’s nose was wrinkly too and I knew we were having a fight now so I said come on then, have a go which was easy because I knew it was the right thing to say even though my voice was difficult. I pushed Andy and he held onto me and was throwing his head at me and it was because he always saw films with his Dad that had headbutts in them and he told me all about them at school the day after. I tried to do headbutts to Andy but it didn’t work for either of us and then the Class 3 boy who was acting like the big boys pushed us over. We held on to each other on the ground and the playground was sideways and I could see Andy’s face sideways on the ground with me kicking him across the wet leafs and the Class 3 boys looking happy in the background. I was kicking very well with my toes but it made me feel sad and I knew Andy was sad too because his face was red and crying.

Then Mrs Lynn came and said her goodness what was happening and she got both of us off the ground and got Mr Jack the PE teacher to take Andy and Mrs Lynn took me into the classroom which was empty and made me cry because I could hear the playground outside.

She wanted to ask me lots of things but I didn’t know what to say and then she said she couldn’t understand why on Earth best friends would be nasty little boys to each other and I got angry at her and said she was stupid. She said how dare you and shouted and I was very sad then and cried a lot because I kept thinking about Dad and I said for crying out loud because that was what he always said.